Bank Teller Loses Job After Subduing Music Piracy Suspect

A Seattle area bank teller was fired Monday after subduing a music piracy suspect in a local Key Bank branch office. The teller, 30 year old Johnson Nickles, tackled the self-proclaimed piracy enthusiast and held him captive until police arrived. Nickels was working at the bank Friday afternoon when a 17 year old male in an over sized t-shirt and grungy jeans walked up to the teller counter. Nickels processed the teen’s deposit and conversed with him about his music tastes. “The kid said he liked FloRida and Nelly, which isn’t really my thing, but you know whatever,” recounted Nickles. “But then he said that he gets most of his music for free – trading CDs with friends and burning copies from his older brother’s collection.” Nickles than relayed how in a fit of condemning rage he lunged across the counter and tackled the suspect, beating the customer into submission while shouting excerpts from Article 17 of the United States Code which outlines copyright law. “I have a lot of friends in this town who are musicians, and it just irks me when I see people take music for granted,” continued Nickles. “In my opinion, if you’re not gonna pay for music, then I’m gonna make you pay.”Key Bank spokesman William Long commented briefly on the incident. “Unfortunately we had to relieve Mr. Nickles from his position. Key Bank’s top priority is the safety of our employees and customers. At times that goal may come at a cost to intellectual property law.” The decision was announced Wednesday amidst public outcry from the music industry. The now-unemployed teller is currently looking for work and has reportedly submitted his resume to the RIAA.